Unintentional Pretending
by averyastrid
Summary: She was beyond happy - excited even. They had their son back. They had destroyed the scary and evil Peter Pan. And Emma found love. She had found love and she knew that it was more powerful than anything. An angst filled journey that connects two women through life and death. SwanQueen
1. Chapter 1

**Unintentional Pretending**

**Note: Sorry.**

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Emma sat in the back of the room tucked into a black dress and tan colored tights. She felt as of the collar of the dress was trying to choke her - breathing was becoming an issue.

These last few days she hasn't talked. She has refused to and even now she wishes she could go back to her bed. When she was tucked into her bed she knew she could hide - that the events of the last couple months didn't happen.

Emma could pretend - just as they all have done at one point or another.

She could pretend that she wasn't in this room, tucked away in the back corner, trying to stay away from the town's prying eyes.

She could pretend that she could breathe and that there was hope ringing throughout her body.

Emma wanted to go back - do it all over - and pray that the ending would change.

She would go back to the beginning when she first arrived in Storybrooke. Or even to when the curse broke.

Hell, Emma would even go back to the few months she was stuck on the ship as the whole crew tried to find their way to Neverland. The listless days of manning a ship, growing closer to her parents, and learning magic during twilight hours.

But Emma wouldn't admit to that being the only thing that happened on the ship.

No, she wouldn't admit to the nights when she would sob in her sleep only to be woken up by gentle hands. Regina - at first - only soothed the younger woman in hopes that Emma got back to sleep and kept her energy up. But the longer they were on the ship, the more magic that was shared between the two women, the harder it became to ignore these unintentional feelings.

So, gentle soothing became gentle spooning, which became gentle morning kisses that turned into full-blown kisses in the heat of the moment (lets just be honest, these two women had a lot of moments that were heated). Before the two women knew what they've done - they were spending their nights entangled in fits of passion.

They fed hope to each other with each kiss of a mouth, every caress, and as they came together in the greys of the morning - the women transcended human nature as their energies flew between one and another.

It wasn't until they make it to shore after nearly three months at sea that reality hit them.

They couldn't pretend.

They had to fight to save their son.

And they did.

Everyone fought bravely with so much strength and passion that they knew they would save the little boy and be back home. Safely.

They fought pirates and mermaids and a whole slew of crocodiles that guarded the shores of Neverland.

And once they made it to the jungle - they fought off Lost Boys. Snow White, Charming, and even Emma leaving a bloody trail in their wake if that meant getting to that little boy. Hook, Regina, and Rumple not giving a child a second glance as they tore though the young boys who tried desperately to slow them down.

And some did - but the determination of the crew proceeded through and finally they found the boy.

It wasn't too late. That is what Emma thought as she glanced to the front of the room - frowning as her mother continued to speak.

In fact - they were just on time. Peter Pan has slaughtered Owen and Tamara in front of Henry - causing the little boy to sob and cry for his mothers. Pan was scary, there was no doubt, but Emma and Regina were scarier.

The two mothers ran to their son quickly - wanting nothing more to protect him. With all of their energy, Emma and Regina had created a shield around themselves and Henry as the others went after Pan - something about their shield making the shadow boy weak - corporeal.

It was Rumple and Charming who knocked Pan down but it was Hook who killed the shadow.

He was gone - that simple.

Regina carried Henry back through the jungle to the ship - their safety. The little boy clinging to the mother like a monkey. His arms wrapped around her neck while his legs locked behind her back and he sobbed into her shoulder.

Emma had walked right beside them while everyone else lead the way.

She was beyond happy - excited even. They had their son back. They had destroyed the scary and evil Peter Pan.

And Emma found love. She had found love and she knew that it was more powerful than anything.

She knew because she had discovered something a few weeks prior that lead to her feeling tender and powerful all at once - something that left flutters in her abdomen.

And Emma - as she sat in that crowd filled room - wanting to pretend that at that moment in the jungle she hadn't been so naive. That she didn't look over at Henry clinging to Regina with so much hope in her eyes.

She shuddered in her seat remembering how Regina looked at her - eyes filled with tears but a hopeful smile on her face just the same. She was filled with hope too.

Emma didn't register the grimace on Regina's face until she noticed the end of the arrow sticking out of Henry's back.

Regina let out a low grunt before falling to the ground - bringing her son with her.

Emma can't remember much after that.

She doesn't remember her cry out that alerted Snow of her daughter's agony - or see Snow quickly pull an arrow out and aim it at Rufio who was cackling happily twenty feet away.

Emma couldn't remember the disgusting smell of poison from the arrow that had went through Regina and exited through Henry.

Emma doesn't remember screaming - clawing at the two people who she loved desperately.

It wasn't until she woke up in her bed in Snow's loft that reality hit her.

They were gone.

And Emma wanted to pretend so badly - she wanted to convince herself it was all a dream.

That they weren't gone.

She put her hand over her stomach - the insistent fluttering the only thing keeping her teetering on the line of the living and dead.

It was the only thing she had left.

Because they were gone and she was alone - except for the part of Regina inside her.

"Emma?" Snow called from the top of the room causing the young woman to look up at her. "Any final words?"

And Emma couldn't pretend anymore as she stood and looked toward the front of the room.

Her son resting peacefully next to his mother, their hands clasped together with flowers and apples decorating around them. The dwarves would soon march them down Main Street to the beach - where they would burn their bodies and say a prayer to the gods of the lands that Regina and her mother came from.

No, she couldn't pretend anymore.

And only the fluttering gave her hope to live.

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**Note: I could make a onepart sequel…or a fifty chapter sequel with a potential happy ending of swan queen. I have ideas.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes: It gets better.**

**TW: hints of child abuse; death**

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"My hands are tied

Because I won't say goodbye

I tried

I told you I was brave but I lied"

- Stars. How Much More.

She had to be pulled away from the glass coffin after she reached the top of the room. Her bottom lip wobbled as she tried to open her mouth to speak but only a moan of agony escaped her chapped lips.

So, instead of speaking, she felt the last bit of hope leave her body and she flung her body across the coffin. She wanted to be able to feel them - to touch them. But the glass covering the top was there for a reason.

The fluttering inside her abdomen quickly became violent as she became more and more inconsolable.

Without them there was no reason to live. Without her there was no reason for this thing to exist.

Who says the moment the bodies catch fire the fetus inside of her doesn't disappear too?

Why would it stay when it's mother and brother are gone?

Emma had nothing to offer it.

Emma wanted to choose death.

Why should she stay when her love - she's pretty sure it's her true love and apparently you only get one of those - and her son are gone?

So Emma cries out - mournful for them.

Everyone expected her to cry.

In fact they would worry if she didn't cry for her young son who still had his rosy cheeks underneath the glass thanks to the Blue Fairy's magic and not the fact that the child still had blood circulating his body.

No - he's been long dead.

But they didn't expect her to be screaming for the evil queen - no Regina, Regina was her name and she saved them is what Snow had told them all. It's true, she did.

"You can't fucking leave me," Emma reached for the glass as Leroy slung an arm around her waist and pulled her away. "You can't fucking leave me, Regina. Not like this! Both of you - wake up!"

Emma had demanded but it would appear that the blonde's demands didn't reach the heavens like Regina's had. Emma didn't know how to move worlds for the dead.

David quickly came to put his arms around his struggling daughter as Snow put a hand to her mouth - a sob escaping her lips.

The whole room was silent - completely stunned at the actions of the young savior.

David wrapped strong arms around Emma - tucking her head against his chest as she continued to beat against him.

Emma wasn't one to cry.

In fact it left a nasty taste in her mouth when she does - but on that day she could only taste the tart apples of Regina.

It made everything hurt so fucking worse.

"Daddy!" Emma begged - causing David to gasp and tears flooding his eyes. "Daddy please!"

David had been waiting over twenty-nine years for his daughter to call him that.

He remembers setting up the cradle in their bedchambers - knowing full well they would never use the elaborate nursery in the other wing of the castle. He remembers dreaming of the day his little girl - his tiny daughter would run into his arms and exclaim happily for her father.

But this wasn't happy and the woman in his arms seemed smaller than any child he had ever imagined.

She had lost everything.

And she begged her Daddy to make it better.

He held her closer looking back at Snow as tears slid down his cheeks. His wife - well wife within another realm - looked helpless in not able to help her daughter.

Emma kept fighting. She kept reaching past him for the two bodies. She kept screaming for her daddy to help her - to fix it.

At one point Emma paused and turned her head up towards her mother - breaking into another sob.

When Emma was a tiny child being dragged through the system - abusive foster parents doing everything they pleased to the small child causing her to break, break, and break over and over again - Emma would find herself in the bathroom with the water running, screaming for a mother and father who would never come.

"I want my mommy. I want my daddy. Please please please," she would beg the heavens.

She would end up closing her eyes and pretending that they would come - they would scoop her up in their arms and carry her off to safety.

After pretending for so long - things get easier.

Now as Emma sobbed the exact words she had begged for years and years ago - her parents were right there.

But when Emma closed her eyes against her Dad's chest - she found she couldn't pretend.

She tasted Regina in her mouth.

She felt fluttering in her stomach.

And she couldn't help but feel them lying there - moments away from her.

She couldn't pretend everything to be okay again.

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Emma was asleep in her parent's bed when their bodies were burned - tucked safely between Snow and David as they wrapped their arms securely around their daughter.

They stayed away - looking over her and at each other before back at her.

They have lost a child before but they knew she would always come back. They let the tiny baby go - despite everything inside of them begging to keep her - knowing that she would come back to them.

Not saying they won't live every single day of their lives in guilt for letting their perfect baby go and her living through hell before coming back to them - but they knew she would be back in their arms someday.

Emma didn't have that luxury.

She had saved her son believing that they were home free. That she would be able to bring him back and finally, just maybe, that they would have their shot at a happy ending.

But apparently happy endings weren't for girls like her.

Maybe she had a bad heart.

Maybe she wasn't worth it.

But she had hoped beyond hope the moment her eyes met with Regina's – she remembers how brightly the older woman's eyes shined with her own hope.

Just maybe…

Instead the young boy's heart was shot through along with his mother's. It was the poison that killed them - making any magic unable to heal.

They had tried - God knows they had tried.

Snow demanded Gold to heal them after Emma had failed in her shock induced coma.

Gold even tried knowing it wouldn't work – seeing his own boy in the small dark haired child.

That poison could kill even him – the dark one.

They kept the bodies in sand at the bottom of the boat. They refused to leave Emma's side in the cabin. It was Hook who got them home so quickly. Instead of a few months at sea - it was only a few days.

Or was it weeks?

They couldn't remember exactly except they had to beg the blue fairy to use most of her fairy dust to make the bodies presentable.

Snow shuddered causing David to grasp her hand - their hands resting on Emma's back as the blonde slept away (sleeping pills, not magic induced) on her stomach.

Bodies.

Regina and Henry were only bodies now. They were there one moment but they were gone the next.

Completely.

And Emma was left behind.

Literally.

The glow from the fire at the beach caused an eerie light to play on the wall across from the bed.

They would be nothing but ashes now - blowing away along the beach and into the ocean.

Snow was sure that she would hear from Ariel about this - except that girl had a fondness for Regina back in the day and probably would end up keeping her mouth shut.

"You think that she'll be okay?" David asks in barely a whisper looking defeated.

Snow's lip - like Emma's did - quivers as she looks at her Prince Charming. She's never seen him like this. She's never seen him so scared.

So she doesn't say anything.

Instead Snow squeezes his hand and closes her eyes - and she pretends.

She pretends her daughter is happy as her grandson runs along the beach. She even pretends that her former stepmother is there - laughing so freely as she plays tag with her son.

Snow sighs before falling into a soft sleep - where pretending comes all too easily.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Note: It gets better starting now, hopefully.**

**TW: mentions of child abuse; death.**

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It is more than I thought could exist

You move through the room

Like breathing was easy

Like dreaming of Angels

And leaving without them

The XX. Angels

The month following the funeral and cremation of Henry and Regina Mills was melancholy for the whole town.

In the big picture - the town was realizing just how well a major Regina Mills was. They were learning that the hierarchy in their old lands wasn't needed or appropriate in this world.

A schoolteacher wasn't meant to lead - she was meant to teach.

So Kathryn (who seemed to enjoy going by that name rather than Abigail, claiming it was renewing) was put up as major after a vote was made. She was the only contender after records were found that Regina had her in line if anything would go wrong - installing the blonde with a background in politics.

At some point, David went to work part time as the sheriff until ("If, Charming," Snow whispered) Emma felt ready to take the position back.

Snow thought about going back to teach - but the woman had a whole summer to think about it. And to be honest, she just wanted to be near her daughter.

The daughter who slept most of the first month and barely ate. Who woke in a fit of nightmares and Snow was right there soothing her child.

It seemed that the death of Regina and Henry only opened up a can of worms for the blonde woman. She often had nightmares about them - but Emma also had nightmares about her childhood.

Things that Snow could barely choke down sobs some nights because she was suddenly realizing the horrifics of her sweet child's childhood.

David lost it one night as the young woman begged someone not to touch her _there_.

He broke that night.

Tore apart "the evil queen's" mansion.

David was at the woman for tearing his family apart. He was angry at the woman for being the cause of Emma's abusive childhood. Angry at the woman for fucking up all of their lives.

Angry at the woman for dying.

For leaving a broken woman who begged for her in the grays of the morning.

He completely lost it - and the mansion received his angry blows.

And Snow stayed and held the crying young woman - soothing her in her sleep. Only to sooth her anger away hours later when Emma found out her father destroyed Regina's house.

"It was them," Emma sobbed on the floor in the kitchen. "They were alive there."

But Emma didn't leave the apartment and the house was beyond repair anyway (he was pretty angry).

So Snow had David stay with Emma while she went with Ruby to collect important things from Regina's.

Henry's favorite quilt - stitched perfectly by Regina.

A quilt draped across the bottom of Regina's bed - stitched perfectly by Regina's mother (Snow remembered it as a child standing nervously in Regina's room while waiting for the older girl to brush her hair).

Boxes of photo albums, keepsakes, drawings of Henry's, anything that seemed near and dear to Regina.

They left the mansion with twelve full boxes before Snow gave the okay to try to salvage or renovate the mansion.

It would make a good orphanage – or at least a good space.

It didn't matter - she think she grabbed the right things and quickly made it back to the house.

That night Emma slept tightly bundled in both Regina's and Henry's quilts. She inhaled their smells – letting them surround her as she slept.

It wasn't until the second month the Emma started to really show - her abdomen prominent with a fetus that was probably four or five months old.

Emma felt an angry kick against her ribs one night and the next day she started to join Snow and David for every meal.

It was the third month after their deaths that Emma found her mother in the bathroom - crying - a toilet filled with blood.

Eyes furrowed and worry she asked Snow what happened and Snow smiled sadly and wiped at her tears, "This is the second time."

Emma left the house that day for the first time to get her father and grab Granny and Ruby (apparently Granny was the go to woman's midwife after Doc).

Snow was curled up in bed when she got back with David at her side - a cup of water in his hand.

Emma curled up around her mother as Granny checked the woman and asked her questions.

Her first miscarriage was after they got back from fairy tale land. This was her second.

Granny said her uterus probably tore with her first child's hurried birth- making any pregnancy unable to go full term.

Angry kicks pushes against an abdomen and she couldn't say anything.

Her mother lost a potential child - one who wasn't fucked up like her - and here she was hiding the stretching abdomen under a baggy shirt.

It was the forth month after the funeral that Snow noticed.

Emma had a nightmare and she climbed the steps to go sooth her daughter. When she curled around the young woman and held her close - the large bump was hard to miss.

The kick against her hand even more.

"I'm scared," Emma said in the dark. "It's her's."

Snow immediately panicked and stood up and turned on the lights. She often over panicked in situations - this was no different.

"What do you mean, Emma?" She spitted out. "The fuck?"

Emma looked at her mother with anger crossing her features - life washing over her face and causing a blush to return to her cheeks.

"Regina," Emma gritted out - as if one name explained everything.

Except that confused Snow more - and the bump was so fucking obvious that she didn't know how she could miss it.

David quickly burst into the room - believing his daughter was having another nightmare but paused in his stop.

"The fuck?" He said in disbelief at the protruding bump.

Emma nearly laughed at her parent's profanities - in fact it was the small chuckle that bubbled up and escaped her lips that caused her to let it out.

The sound was heaven to David and Snow's ears. It was the magic needed to defuse the ticking bombs within them and calm down for the time being.

Their baby just laughed and it was as if they were first time parents who patiently waited for their tiny infant to laugh.

So the trio went downstairs, had hot cocoa with cinnamon, and Emma told them a story about how there was this hurt and broken woman she fell for while on a ship.

She had just been Emma and the woman was just Regina - neither had titles in that cabin as they soothed and loved and cared for each other.

And every time they fu - made love - a purple and turquoise cloud would surround them.

"I've seen enough Buffy to know that magic can do some pretty crazy shit," Emma had said as she slowly drank the hot liquid.

Snow looked at her daughter - truly looked at the young woman - and wonders how she didn't see it immediately.

Emma had a slight glow to her - not the normal pregnancy glow but a true glow. The woman barely took care of herself but it would seem that the fetus inside of her was keeping her alive and healthy.

Emma put her hand to her abdomen and chuckles, "I think the thing likes the hot cocoa - it's going crazy inside there."

Except things aren't that simple and it would seem the entire bloodlines of the "thing" was always fond of the dramatics.

The "crazy" ended up being contractions and the thing was pushing against her cervix a little too quickly and a tiny bit demanding.

Emma didn't appreciate that kind of attitude - but she blamed it on Regina and not on her own stubborn trait being passed to the fetus.

And the memory that neither Regina nor Henry wasn't there hit the blonde hard causing her to hitch a breath.

Snow's eyes widen and she immediately told David to get his truck to go to the hospital.

Except the hospital was too far and they only made it to the couch before Emma let out a howl of pain due to the pressure.

Snow had David call Granny as she got Emma to her and David's bed.

Before Granny could make it - a cry rang through the apartment and a hollow cry left Emma's chapped lips.

Emma held the infant close to her breast - the tiny premature thing feeding greedily at her breast - something that she wasn't able to offer Henry.

And as she saw the brown eyes and chocolate mop of hair on the tiny child's head - she openly sobbed. She was being surrounded by the smell of apples causing the tears to flow down her cheek and anoint the child's head.

She held the infant close to her as she squeezed her eyes closed - pretending that Regina was there caressing the child's cheek and Henry watching over the kid (he would be the protective older brother Emma was sure of it).

Before long - Emma succumbed to her pretend world and dreams as the tiny thing suckled.

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Emma found out that Regina's middle name was Cordelia when she received Henry's death certificate so many months ago (she also found out Henry's middle name was Daniel).

Mother: Regina Cordelia Mills

Father: Emma Swan

She had chuckled at that but quickly found reading her son's death certificate sickening and hurriedly gave it back to Snow before retreating back to her room upstairs in the loft at that time.

But she remembered that her middle name was Cordelia.

Which sat oddly in Emma's stomach because the blonde knew that it was probably a way that Regina's mother honored her own name.

Except one night as she held the dark haired woman in their cabin on the ship - Regina whispered to her the final words of her mother after Regina put her heart back in.

"You would have been enough."

And that's what Emma thinks about when she looked at the tiny infant cuddled against her chest - wrapped in a handwoven purple wrap made by the Fairy's. It had a learning curve that Snow was more than happy to teach her.

Emma couldn't lie - it allowed her to keep the infant close to her heart.

Because she was becoming enough for her - the antiseptic that you applied to scars that are healing.

And so that's what she decides on the little girl's second week of life.

"Cordelia," she announces to Snow and David as she stands in the kitchen area - her hands on the tiny one's back over the material.

Snow's eyebrows reached the top of her head and so Emma softly explained why she choose the name.

"Cordelia Henry Mills, that's her name," Emma said as she met the brown eyes of her daughter – every ounce of that name was Regina. Emma would pretend every time the name slipped form her lips – that she was evoking the older woman to her.

And maybe – one day the woman would come.

Snow couldn't be upset with her daughter about naming a child after the Mill's family- not right now. So she smiled and nodded her head saying that it was beautiful.

David gave a little grin and wipe of his eye - looking at his tiny granddaughter before looking back up at his daughter. "It's perfect, Em."

And Emma couldn't take any more emotions - it was too much. So she went upstairs to the wooden rocking chair that August made for them.

She rocked Cordelia as the infant nursed - softly closing her eyes and doing what she found herself doing a lot lately.

Pretending.

Emma thought of the dark haired woman on the ship, the soft caresses and the kisses filled with so much hope.

Emma pretended she had felt that hope filling her chest and shooting to her heart.

"Cordelia," she could even hear Regina's voice - whisper her daughters name.

Except on that night of the infant's naming - something was different.

A sharp jolt shot through Emma causing her to open her eyes.

In the dim light _she_ was there, kneeling in front of them staring lovingly at the small baby. Her hand was caressing the infant's hair. There was a gentle and wistful smile on her red lips.

The smell of apples wafting past Emma's nose.

Emma's scream caused the dark haired woman to meet her eyes.

Regina's eyes met Emma's in wide recognition.

Emma could see her!

Finally.

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	4. Chapter 4

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Fiction, when we're not together  
Mistaken for a vision, something of my own creation  
I wake up alone, with only daylight between us  
Last night the world was beneath us, tonight comes, dear love  
Were we torn apart by the break of day?

- The XX. Fiction.

Regina didn't know when she realized that they had both died.

One moment she was looking at Emma Swan – a smile of relief tugging on her lips as she held the nearly twelve-year-old boy in her arms.

He was heavy, but the weight went unnoticed because she wanted her son close to her heart.

Regina saw a twinkle in the blonde's eyes that sent a shot of electricity through her body and she felt it.

Regina felt so much hope within that moment and it filled her completely – overflowing from her body as she had squeezed her son tighter against her.

They would be okay.

More so – they would have their happy ending.

Regina would _**finally**_ have her happy ending – the one she tore worlds apart to achieve.

Her heart had fluttered just as it had many times on the ship during their journey to Neverland.

She gave the blonde a small smile that said everything she felt. The smile revealed a story of how love and hope helped healed two broken women. It was as if their hearts had been poisoned over many years due to many different reasons and they had finally found their cure.

Ironic, isn't it?

How curing one poison but dying of another?

She didn't feel the arrow puncture her back and slide it's way through her chest and into her son.

She didn't feel the immediate spread of the disgusting poison through her body and immediately stop her heart.

She honestly couldn't recall what had killed them.

In that moment, she remembered the hope and clutching her son to her chest and the swell of love overcoming them.

It was as if she had blinked her eyes and they were back on the deck of the ship. Henry had pulled back from his mother and grinned happily – looking around at the magnificent wooden structure in complete amazement.

"Mom! Look at this!" Henry said, jumping down from her arms and pulling her to the huge wheel that he had once helped his father direct. "I learned how to drive this!"

Regina had chuckled at her son – remembering being told about that time – but she humored her son and let the boy spend the next few hours telling her exactly how to direct the ship and pointing out different things on the deck and their meaning.

She was his mother in that moment.

Regina basked in her son's unconditional love as they spent hours and hours on the deck.

It was as if time had stalled for the mother and son - the ship sailing peacefully in the afternoon sun and the spray of the ocean keeping them cool.

They didn't realize the others weren't around but instead stayed in their own little world.

Regina found she could make her son laugh by telling silly stories of her adventures as a young child causing her wet nurses grief and Henry found he could send Regina into hysterics by doing improv of his grandparent's lovey dovey yuckiness.

"I missed you, Mom," Henry had solemnly told her at one point - looking down and fiddling with his fingers. The young boy's heart filled with guilt over his treatment toward his adoptive mother. "I'm sorry..."

Regina had immediately reached for her son and wrapped her arms around him. "Henry, I love you beyond the moon and stars. You know that right?"

The young boy nodded and clutched at his mother.

They didn't know how long they stayed like that but when they pulled apart they where back home - the boat docked.

That was when Regina felt something was...off.

Henry looked around and reached for his mother's hand. He felt it too.

They walked through the empty city and it wasn't until they heard Emma's screaming from city hall that their paced pick up.

Regina noticed her heart stop beating and how much it hurt as Henry squeezed her hand.

Henry held onto his mother - scared of this feeling in his body.

It was as if there was something important they both forgot.

The whole town sat in the pews at city hall but it was David holding a devastated Emma away from something that got their attention.

She was screaming.

Crying.

Reaching past David.

Regina noticed for a split second that nearly the whole room was shedding tears.

But her focus was on Emma.

Henry - scared - had his focus past Emma.

At what she was reaching for.

"Mom," Henry whispered.

She barely heard him over Emma's screaming. Regina was starting to walk forward – concerned for the blonde. She reached her hand out for her as the overwhelming love filled her body and her heart started to thump hard against her chest.

She felt her son yank at her arm but all she was worried about was how that bastard Charming was restraining the woman she loved so much.

Except one of Emma's screams became a little more coherent.

"You can't fucking leave me, Regina."

Regina's eyes widened and whipped her head to her son who was yanking her arm – wondering if he heard the same thing.

Henry was sobbing, looking up at his mother terrified.

When Regina saw their bodies she felt her breastbone break and an agonizing pain rip through her chest. She felt blood seep through her shirt and heard Henry's heartbreaking cry ring through her ears.

Mother and son were feeling the arrow shot through them – the reminder of just how the two bodies ended up under the glass coffin.

Henry tried to walk closer but Regina yanked him back.

She had clutched the boy's hand and marched them away from the scene, out of the building, across to the park that held her apple tree.

Grasping her son in her arms – she wept.

Time escaped them again as they sat under the tree. They felt the heat burning away at every inch of their bodies at one point and Regina just clung Henry closer.

At another point – when everything was still, unmoving – Regina began to hum to Henry. It was the same song she would hum when he was a small infant sleeping away in the middle of her bed at night.

"Mom," Henry spoke first.

"Yes?" Regina whispered – as if speaking too loud would cause unknown chaos.

"That was us," he whimpered and Regina nodded.

It was them – lifeless.

"Are we…?" Henry found he couldn't continue his sentence.

Regina sucked in a breath and clutched her little boy closer. Because that was what he was – her little precious boy. Realization was starting to seep into her body and it was the most horrific feeling she has ever experienced.

After a while Regina pulled back and laid a hand on her son's cheek. She tried not to frown – to put on a brave face for her son.

"I love you so much, Henry," she whispered to the boy.

His face crumpling, tears began to stain the child's cheeks. "I love you too, Mom."

Regina kissed Henry's forehead and brought him back into her arms. His head rested on her shoulder as she began to hum to her son.

No more words were spoken between them.

It wasn't needed – they said enough.

And for the first time since Regina could remember – they slept.

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Regina wakes up alone.

There are two types of deaths – she knew this very well.

The first type is one we will all experience. It is the death of one's body. All life and essence taken from it leaving it hollow and empty. Blood will stop running due to a stopped heart. It will shrivel and become ash at one point or another.

The second death that we experience is when our soul moves on.

On to what?

Regina has no idea – but when she noticed Henry gone – she knew that he truly was gone.

Her sweet boy.

And she realized that their last conversation was all he needed to let go and accept his death.

Her face crumpled up and she wept for her son.

She sobbed openly – in front of her apple tree as her acceptance of her son's passing fell heavily on the woman.

The time on the boat, them coming together, her soothing her son's guilt, the reassurance of love… it was all to help them become whole.

And apparently that is all her little boy needed to make his journey onto the next life.

But the fact that the woman accepted this didn't make it any easier.

It was the loneliness that brought Regina's awareness back.

Her heart began to ache for something – for someone.

Emma.

She found the young woman in her mother's apartment. It surprised Regina to see the woman wrapped tightly in her own quilt. Regina noticed Henry's quilt was crumpled up under Emma's head.

As if on instinct, Regina knelt next to the sleeping woman. Her heart swelled as she reached forward to try to touch the blonde, but quickly brought her hand back to her side – scared.

"Emma," Regina whispered as she watched the sleeping woman's face remain still. She noticed the scowl that furrowed Emma's brow and the way she clutched –

Regina's focus turned to the bump that Emma was cradling in her arms. She glanced quickly back up at the blonde before back down at the bump.

Immediately – Regina reached out a hand to touch the material covered abdomen causing a shock to throw the dark haired woman back onto her back.

Shocked – Regina's attention went to the wide-open eyes of the blonde.

She was staring right at her!

Quickly scrambling back to the woman's side, Regina called for her.

"Emma!"

Hope and loved laced the name.

But Emma closed her eyes and repositioned her body, groaning, "I swear this thing is going to have to stop kicking me awake."

And that was how it went for many months.

The sense of time came back to Regina – causing a sweet agony to eat away at the woman's hope.

She learned that if she blew into Emma's face, the blonde would twitch.

If she tried to touch the young woman, Emma would get goose bumps.

But what kept Regina's hope going was when she reached for Emma's stomach.

It caused Regina to get thrown back but it also caused tiny kicks to push against Emma's stomach.

"The thing" noticed Regina.

(And it should be known that every time Emma refers to the baby as 'The Thing' Regina scoffs at her and mummers, 'Miss Swan.')

Regina tried her hardest to get Emma's attention – but it was useless.

The blonde would always look past her.

The worst pain came when Emma gave birth. Regina caressed her, touched her, and said soothing words but none of it mattered.

Emma cried out for her and Regina was there.

"I'm here, my love," Regina had cried to herself as she reached to caress the sweat-covered cheek of the birthing woman.

And it didn't matter.

Her daughter was born filled with every ounce of the life that Henry and Regina lost.

The small babe was alert, filled with light as her pink lips puckered and Regina smiled through her tears as Emma brought her to her breast.

Though – over the first few weeks of the infant's life – the child didn't wail.

Henry had been a baby with colic and completely inconsolable at times during his infancy.

This tiny little girl only puckered her lips when she was unsatisfied in any way.

Sometimes the infant would even look at Regina as the woman sat at Emma's feet as she nursed and softly caress the mop of dark brown hair on the little girl's head.

Regina was convinced the tiny girl felt her touch as she would push into her hand from time to time.

And that is where she was when Emma saw her for the first time.

The day that the tiny child was named.

Regina had whispered the child's name for the first time, staring lovingly at the little girl, when Emma's scream caught her attention.

"Regina?!" Emma cried out – tears welling up in her eyes.

Regina's eyes widen as realization settled deep within her.

Emma fucking Swan could see her!

"Emma?" Regina whispered, reaching past her daughter's head for the blonde but frowned when she could still feel no contact made.

"It's really you? Dear god, Regina." Emma felt a few sobs crack through her body but she quickly sucked it in – not wanting to disturb the infant.

Emma reached forward for the woman but her hand came up empty.

Her eyes widened – Regina heart broke at the wrecked look on the blonde's face.

Emma shook her head and brought her hand back up to her mouth to silent the sobs.

"I've missed you," Regina tried to smile at the woman – to sooth her – but she could only wince.

Emma nodded her head and whimpered, "You left me alone, Regina."

Emma saw the sob crash through the former queen's body rather than hear it.

Regina shook her head, "Never, Emma, I would never leave you."

It was when those words escaped her lips that she wondered at what point did Emma mean so much to her – more than the sun and stars. She wondered when her universe clashed into Emma's causing the two women to intertwine.

Whatever kind of magic it was – it was enough to create a child.

And possibly tie one soul to another.

Emma looked around and then back at Regina, "Henry." Her voice was desperate, "Is he with you?"

Regina looked down at their daughter – Cordelia's eyes closed as she was slowly drifting off to sleep as she suckled at Emma's breast. Regina let out a soft breath before looking to meet Emma's eyes. "He's – He's moved on. I'm alone."

And it was in that moment that Emma mourned for her son the second time.

Emma's face crumpled and a loud sob rang through the room causing Cordelia's eyes to snap open.

For the first time since her birth – the tiny infant wailed.

Strong, filled with life, reminding Regina of the ferocity that her older brother's cries had sounded like as an infant.

Regina didn't know if it was Emma's cries or Cordelia's that caused Snow and David to crash into the room so quickly – but panic was written on their faces as they noticed their sobbing daughter.

Completely oblivious of the woman sitting in front of their daughter.

Regina tried to reach forward to comfort the woman but found herself unable to.

And as she reached to touch Cordelia – Regina was thrown back against the bed – away from mother and daughter.

Emma didn't know how long she wept or when her parents quickly kneeled on the floor in front of her to sooth their daughter and granddaughter.

But when she calmed down and looked around – panic filled her chest.

Regina was gone.

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQ

**Note: So, what are you thinking so far? How are you doing? Do you need soothing tea and blanket? Do you think you can make another chapter or should I run away from this fic?**


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